"Eventually, I think Chicago will be the most beautiful great city left in the world." - Frank Lloyd Wright
A Quick Video Overview of the Gold Coast NeighborhoodMake yourself at home..
Le Château Gold Coast is your quaint little home away from home in the Windy City, amidst the towering giants, buried in the heart of the tree lined Gold Coast, in the City of Big Shoulders. Chicago is also known as the Second City, Chi-Town, Chiraq, Chiberia, the City in a Garden, or simply the Chi. A one week advance notice of your complimentary stay, is most appreciated. Let’s go!
A List of Things You Might Need at the Château
The below list may be useful to you during your stay, or in all or some of your upcoming adventures.
Air Conditioner
There is a rickety old air conditioner in the bedroom window, once used by Al Capone and purchased from his estate sale, it should cool the whole place. There was a stack of gold coins hidden inside. Turn the left knob clockwise all the way for full blast. The right knob is the self destruct knob. If you figure it out, let us know.
Artwork
The large black painting in the Dining Hall is entitled, “F*ck It”, but we affectionately call it “The Infinite Blackness of My Abyss and Other Sad and Melancholy Meanderings” to keep it family friendly, painted by our local famed Chicago artist. The sketch over the bar is called, “Boy Meets Girl”, by Unknown. The cityscape at the rear Living Room Wall is entitled “Chi”, by yours truly, your humble host.
Bar
Prohibition was repealed in 1933, so the speakeasies are officially a thing of the past and there is no need to hide. However, if you want to save some dough, pregame, and drink in the château, feel free to hit up the bar in the cabinets at the end of the kitchen. A full set of appropriate glassware can be found overhead. Wine bottles galore from all around the world can be found to the left of the food pantry cabinet, and to the left of the fridge. Party ice blocks are in a bag in the freezer for your cocktail game.
Bath & Bidet
Bath has two light switches, one for the overhead, and one for the vanity. The Bidet is at the back right of the toilet. To operate the Bidet, turn the gold valve ON (up) at the base of the toilet, then adjust flow with the thumb trigger on the wand. Remember to turn the gold valve OFF (down) at the base of the toilet, after use. Americans, this may help. A tiny narrow gold tubular Bath Garbage bin can be found in the lower vanity cabinet.
Bay Windows
There are two large Bay Windows behind the dining table, good for direct sunlight early morning around 7AM, and again in the afternoon around 4PM (reflected off those mirrored windows on the million dollar one bedrooms at the Carlyle building across the way, LOL). Granted, the view off the bay windows is not spectacular, but you do have a view of the bricks and bathroom window of the adjacent next door neighbor, a massive historic single family three story Chicago greystone landmark, currently valued a cool $2.3 million. Let’s go in on it together, or this one a few houses down the street listed for $6 million.
Bus & Bikes
The public transportation system in Chicago is epic, and there is a 151 bus at the eastern corner of the block that will take you south down Michigan Avenue along the Magnificent Mile to access the Bean (Cloud Gate), Millennium Park, the Face Fountains (Crown Fountain) , the Museums, etc. It’s about a 10-20 minute bus ride, scenic all the way. You will need a Ventra pass using the app on your phone to get around. Same for Divvy bikes.
Carpet
The bedroom features some fancy white carpet, so if possible, please kindly keep your shoes in the living room closet, and luggage wheels, food and beverages outside of the bedroom. The cleaning staff (cough) will be most appreciative.
Chargers
There are two wireless Phone Chargers in the bedroom nightstand top drawers, left and right. Wiggle your phone around on the velvet towards the inside corners of the top drawers and you will feel it magnetize. There is also a USB charging adapter on the wall to the left of the dining table.
Closets
Closet in the living room is good for shoes, coats, bags, umbrellas, shopping bags, etc. You can shove all your miscellaneous stuff in there to clear up your floor space. The Closet in the bedroom has racks for folded clothes, extra linens, and towels, as well as an area for hanging your threads, naturally.
Coffee
There is a Keurig automatic coffee maker inside the lower cabinet to the left of the stove. Plug it in and pop in a pod from the food pantry cabinet over the stove. Next, fill up your mug or cup with Drinking Water, and add it to the reservoir on top of the machine, then hit the power button to turn it ON. Once ON, hit the “Play” looking button to heat the water. It’ll take a minute to heat up, but the coffee should start pouring out after a short wait.
Recap: Plug in, put pod, put water, press on, press play.
Feeling spoiled and want someone to make it for you? Try La Colombe, Goddess & Grocer, or Fox Trot (all about a 3 minute walk), or any of the nearby 5 star hotels.
Dining Table & Chairs
Correct, the Mid Century Modern dining table has only one leg. Sorry, we’re homeschooled. On the up side, you can move the table left or right to position it where it works best for you. Be careful not to pull it forward, otherwise your meal or cocktails will wind up on the floor. The secondary dining chair is in the bedroom, just bring it in for dining for two. Fun fact about the chairs, these were the famed debate chairs used during the John F. Kennedy & Richard Nixon presidential debates.
Dishwasher
It’s a Bosch, and we haven’t quite figured it all out. Have a bottle of wine, press some buttons and pray for the best, we’re sure it will work out just fine. If you want to nerd our about it, this tutorial may help. Soap is under the kitchen sink.
Drinking Water
There is an on demand reverse osmosis water filtration system under the kitchen sink. To dispense super clean drinking water, just use the faucet to the right of the main kitchen faucet. There is also a cold gallon of reverse osmosis drinking water inside the fridge. If you want to get your bubbly water game going with some sparking water, see Sparkling Water Machine.
First Aid Kit
Yikes! It’s inside the cabinet over the refrigerator.
Flashlight
Careful! It’s inside the cabinet over the refrigerator.
Garbage & Recycling
You will find some paper bags from Whole Foods folded up neatly in the lower cabinet to the left of the stove, behind the coffeemaker. They work well for garbage and recycling. You can set them at the back of the kitchen wall, under the narrow counter below the Bar. For bathroom garbage, you can find a tiny narrow gold tubular Bath Garbage bin inside the lower bathroom vanity cabinet.
The exterior garbage and recycling bins for the building are in the alley. If the garbage starts to pile up, just take the back door at the laundry room (see Laundry) to access (but be careful not to lock yourself out – i.e. use the brick).
Groceries, Drugs & Sundries
Please feel free to go full on raccoon mode, and nibble and munch away at anything you find in the fridge or pantry. Otherwise, you have many grocery shopping options at Whole Foods, Fox Trot, Goddess & Grocer, etc., all within 5-10 minute walk of the condo. There is a Walgreens drug store on State Street, a short 6 minute walk from the condo. There is also a cannabis dispensary called Verilife on Superior Street, a 16 minute walk from the condo.
Gun
We know, we know. Chicago is supposed to be violent, there is supposed to be a lot of crime and guns and drugs and thugs. Not to worry, you will not need a gun in this neighborhood. Did you know that Chicago is ranked way down at No. 31 on the list of most violent cities in the US, far behind cities in New York and California? Did you know it has been voted Best Big City in the US for six consecutive years in a row by the prestigious media conglomerate Conde Naste? You won’t need a gun, and there are police vehicles parked on just about every corner around here in case you want to gift them some well earned donuts and coffee.
Heat
Yes, Chicago gets wicked cold. The radiators will kick on once the outside temperature drops to a solid chill and it will warm the place up nicely. Too hot? Try opening the windows to let some of that arctic winter wind inside. Too cold? There is a portable space heater in the Dungeon Storage. Just ask.
Internet
We have two WiFi networks (“admin” and “fish”). Need the password? Just ask.
Keys
No keys required for access to the building main door, nor the unit door. Just use the access code for the front door at the street, and you will have about 15 seconds to get through both security doors to enter the Lobby. Same for the unit door. Need the codes? Just ask.
Laptop
There is an Apple MacBook Pro laptop in the bottom drawer of the bedroom nightstand and should already be charging. Power button is at the top right of the keyboard. Just detach the cord, and replace and recharge after your internet fix.
Laundry
There is coin operated laundry facility at the lower level of the building. The building seems to be mostly full of college students and young professionals, so no one is really seen doing laundry and the facility is usually empty. There is a laundry basket in the bedroom closet, and the soap and quarter rolls are in a blue Chinese takeout bag overhead in the bedroom closet. Just take the elevator down to level B, then go left out the door, and another left through the door into the laundry.
Motion Lights
There are rechargable motion lights in the kitchen, under the cabinets and inside the Bar cabinet. If they stop working, you can remove them (magnetically attached) and charge them in the corner to the left of the dining table. The charging cords are in the green vase in the Bay Window.
Music
There is an orange Apple Pod device to the left of the Dining Table that works with Siri to play music from your iPhone, otherwise you can probably just connect via regular bluetooth. If you have an iPhone, it has probably already connected, just say “Hey Siri, Play All Day by Kanye West”, or something similar.
Random Stuff
Random stuff can be found the cabinet over the refrigerator, including Covid Tests, a deck of Uno cards, duct tape, (4) AA batteries w/charger, a short extension cord, Robot Vacuum filters, flashlight, a mini tool kit, screws and extra hotel sized shampoo, body wash, conditioner, and lotion.
Robot Vacuum
There is a Robot Vacuum under the sofa, and the remote is in the utensils drawer to the left of the stove. You can leave it running and it will return to its charger automatically, just pick up your socks and cords, and clear the curtains in bedroom from the floor.
Piano
Feel free to bang it out on the hundred year old Mohagany Grand Piano in the Lobby at any time, all hours, preferably tipsy. The neighbors will surely love it ( after all, the bronze plaque does read “PLEASE PLAY ME”, so have fun).
Projector
Rainy day? Too hot or cold outside? If you want to veg out indoors and make it a movie night, you can use the projector in the small metal storage chest to the left of the sofa. The projector is about the size of a can of beer, and has a Firestick TV and all associated cords which can be found inside of a clear plastic storage case. The remote will allow you to tweak the screen to fit any wall. The bedroom wall is ideal, but you’ll need to remove the round mirror. Netflix, Amazon Prime, Youtube, blah blah, you get the idea.
Smoking
Sparking Water Machine
There is a sparkling bubbly water machine under the kitchen sink. The one liter bottle it works with is located in the cabinets over the microwave. Fill the bottle with your cold filtered water from the fridge (or from the dispenser), and insert the bottle into the nozzle. Tilt the bottom in to lock it in place, then press and release the top button a few times. Feel free to add (optional) spirits from the Bar, and/or cubed party ice from the freezer. Cheers.
Standing Lamp & Fans
There is a floor button on the Living Room Standing Lamp to turn it ON and OFF at the right rear of the sofa. The ceiling fans operate from the switches on the walls, but you can pull the cord on the fan to disable the light, and just run the fans with the wall switch.
Step Ladders
There is a Mini Step Ladder behind the sofa, and a Big Step Ladder in the Storage space (see Storage).
Storage
Want to get your big clunking empty suitcases out of your face and off the floor? You can throw them into the overhead Storage, just over the bedroom door. You’ll also find a Big Step Ladder in there, in case you need to reach something high up. Too short to reach the Big Step Ladder? LMAO, okay. Use the Mini Step Ladder behind the sofa to reach the Big Step Ladder, then you can use it to reach the Storage space. There you go shorty.
Television
The place is a bit charming without a one eyed monster big screen tv pumping commercials into your subconscious mind all day, but if you would like to get your Netflix and Chill on, you can use the laptop (see Laptop), or the projector (see Projector).
Toaster
Need to toast your bread, crisp up your leftovers, or rebake that Chicago Deep Dish pizza? Use the oven and just add some tin foil underneath to catch the crumbs. Works like a charm.
Tools
Need to MacGuyver something up? You can find a little red Tool Box inside the Storage Chest to the left of the sofa.
Windows Blinds
The window blinds in the living room and kitchen open from the top down and the bottom up to allow for light, or privacy, or both. Too short to reach the top? Use the little Pole Stick thingy at the bottom of each window to hook the top of the blinds and pull them up or down.
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